Archive | Sex RSS feed for this section

Going viral: The OTHER lesson

18 Jul


Viral marketing is spontaneous, fast paced and subject to the whimsical fancies of your audience. In viral marketing, QUICK THINKING and IMMEDIATE ACTION are essential. Viral Marketing offers a brief window of opportunity during which your audience is focused on YOU and is hungry for more of what you have to offer. It is imperative that the marketer capitalizes on this window of opportunity, because it closes rapidly. TIME WAITS FOR NO MARKETER!

Just A Band was caught off guard with the Makmende sensation. They were unprepared for the sensational sweep of social media hype created by and for their concept. Before they could regroup and act, facebook and wikipedia pages had been set up, an ‘official’ website had been created, t-shirts with Makmende quips were steaming off the presses. By the time they marshaled their resources to respond to the sensation, the Makmende train had run out of steam. Makmende on the capital breakfast did not catch on. People had moved on.

What Just A Band lost was the opportunity to not only tap into a craze they had created, but to control it in their favor. As it was, Makmende became the spotlight of the viral hype. Few bothered to buy the 82 album that actually contained the Ha-He song that started the entire buzz. Makmende took center stage with pomp and flair, exited right and left Just A Band as, well, just a band.

In the case of Old Spice, Weiden+Kennedy were superbly quick on the uptake. They milked the Old Spice viral humdrum for all it was worth. Media relations was mobilized and the audience was given the “Making Of The Old Spice Ad” to chew on. They then took it to another level. They implemented the basic marketing principle of “Talk about you if you talk about me” Basically they mobilized celebrities via social networks and tailor-made spin offs of the advert addressed to these celebrities. The celebrities then hyped the spin-off Old Spice videos to their own audiences. Brilliant. Procter&Gamble (The owners of the Old Spice brand) gave them free reign to create and create they did. The Weiden+Kennedy team shot 87 videos in eleven hours. Isaiah Mustapha in these 20 second spots delivered witty messages to celebrities such as Alyssa Milano, Ellen DeGeneres, even to his daughter and the Old Spice audience at large.

When it comes to capitalizing of a viral sensation, it is important to note that quantity often takes priority over quality. This does not mean completely ignoring the creative value of the content you push, it simply requires the marketer to churn out as much as they can as best as the can while their brand is still going viral. Remember, the audience is in a heightened state of reception, they simply want more.


In true “Therapy, mukimo and sex” style (let me break it down for you so that it can forever and consistently be BROKE!), I find that one should relate viral marketing to a passionate romp/rodgering. Tease them until they want more. Then go hard and fast. Flip ‘em over. Leave them breathless. And when you come, bring the THUNDER along. Trust me, they won’t forget you.


Getting it up and Keeping it up!! (in the rain)

14 May

Twice in a day!! Yikes, so this is how viagra feels. Only that it’s not a little blue, white, whatever pill. And that it doesn’t work on THOSE parts. Not like I have THOSE parts in any case. Well I have been known to grow a brass pair occasionally when circumstances called for it. Metaphorically not anatomically because that would just be weird and I’d have to go see a gyno and suffer through painfully embarrassing explanations of “Now you see them, now you don’t.” Point is that it feels good to get it up and keep it up, the blog post, not THAT (though I’m sure it would feel equally good to get THAT up and keep IT up! Unless IT couldn’t get back down, I’ve heard that could be painful)

Off the digreshuns and back to the nitty gritty. It has been pouring in Nairobi and the mast of Kenya this past week (take that all you “el-nino haikuji” naysayers). It’s weeks like these when I miss Nguatah Francis and his stand-up comedy gig very informative weather forecasts. I have a very complicated theory concerning the rain, the gravitational pull of the moon and nairobi people (More on that after it’s copyrighted (copywritten?!) and I have won a nobel prize for it) Sneak peak summary, “The rain makes nairobians crazy.”

Yesterday people were seated in their offices pretending to be stellar employees all the while keeping an eye outside office windows on the black rain clouds (Nimbus? Cumulus?! The lesson I missed in geography probably!) Even those people in cubicles, with no windows, they did it Wanted style, a feat that I’m convince has its historical roots in some form of black magic, juju oh! The instant the first fat drop (Note the alliteration) made its way from the aforementioned clouds, the mad dash home begun. Nevermind that the work day was far from over! The ensuing madness provided comic relief for the gods on Mt Olympus and anyone else with a good view of the city roads.

Ha!!! <— Take that anyone who had left their houses claiming “SIOGI NA SIOGI!!!” Cleanliness is next to Godliness, that was The Big Man’s way of roundhouse kicking your asses into submission. KAPLOW!!! hehe. *Flash of lightning… Loco ducks under bed* (Yikes! This name in vain thing is a dangerous affair, especially during the rainy season!!)

So the point of this entire post was to let anyone one out there who might be ploughing through this rain chaos that Loco is tucked under a duvet all snuggly and warm, quite enjoying this baby making weather and sticking my tongue out at you, tongue ring and all.

Maaad plaigiarism from deviant art. All of us lazy people do this.

The beginning. Word!!

14 May

I really should introduce myself. The name’s Loco. Locococomoco. Well, it isn’t really but if I use my real name here I might get stalkers who’ll put up shrines of me and worship my awesomeness and put up shrines of me and find out where I live and come and whisk me away to Mt Olympus to worship my awesomeness better and then Zeus might smite me with a lightning bolt because he’s totally badass and he doesn’t like being usurped even by people as awesome as me. So because I don’t want to fuck with Zeus, you may call me Loco. Yeah, pleasure to meet me too 🙂

I used to have another digz, but that was totally and thoroughly spammed. Fuck blog spot and their lack of spam control! Also I just recently moved back to the small big city (Nairobbery) and seeing as how my life now has taken a totally different turn it only makes sense to start a fresh space. Herein shall be documented the philosophical and life changing journey I have only just begun in this beautiful city. Or maybe just random nonsense.

I shall leave you with this gem. The miseducation of Loco.

PS: WordPress totally rocks. Feel free to drop a comment. If you spam me though I swurrs I shall find you and ask R Kelly to pee on you, eye for an eye and whatnot.