I’M SHOPPING FOR A COOL PET ANT

Insomniacs see weird things. No. Not LSD trip weird. Quirky weird.

When you’re lying in bed contemplating inducing sleep by concussion, you inevitably end up staring at the mundane things around you and find yourself noticing fascinating details everywhere that few people capture as they breeze by life.

Insomnia is cool that way.

But that’s not the point.

Today I was lying in bed staring aimlessly at my bedside stand watching little sugar ants trotting along on it. They were probably so energetic because they had slept all night and were rested and refreshed.

One little ant in particular caught my eye, and I followed its journey.

It scampered determinedly from the cap of my bedside candle and made a beeline (antline?) straight for a glass of juice half full of juice next to me.

(Ed note: The glass half full vs half empty metaphor means nothing to me unless the glass in question contains some exquisite mellow red wine. So don’t label me optimistic… But that doesn’t mean I’m pessimistic)

Back to our ant.

I’d begun growing fond of him so I’d given him a loving pet name. Antieasid.

Antieasid to me represented a go getter at their best.

Ambitious, goal oriented, focused, motivated and hardworking.

He struggled up the glass all the way to the rim and with the goal in sight went straight into the juice.

Now THAT, is the definition of hitting the MOTHERLOAD. I think it would be the ant world equivalent of swimming in gold. Awesome, right?

But then I started contemplating his options.

He’d either try taking it all in then bloat to death one milliliter in.

Or he’d splash in his fortune until he got tired and drowned.

Or having tasted wondrous pleasures, he’d climb out and live to tell the tale to his grandchildren.

Antieasid made me question…

Is heading for the motherload brave or just plain stupid?